Last night, I slept pretty late. My housemate and I recorded our podcast. By the way, if you’re Filipino.. feel free to listen to our podcast at soundcloud!! Share Us Anything!!! I’ll post the link at the bottom.
So I had this dream. It was so vivid. Unlike most dreams I have, this one I can remember clearly. It was more like a memory. So Albert and I broke up a couple of months ago. Last night, I dreamed about him, about us. Surprisingly, the location of the dream was very specific. We were in Seattle. Fun fact: our very first trip as a couple was to Seattle to watch the Lion King Musical. So back to my dream… we were in Seattle and we were on the way to Space Needle. Weirdly enough, we had to take a boat to the Space Needle. I directed him to climb up the stairs then elevator but then few people were going a different way and that’s when we found out we were to take a boat that looks like a jeepney to Space Needle. We got into the elevator and while inside, he can’t stop kissing me on my forehead. I will be honest, I still miss him and how he kiss me. He was my first kiss after all. So yep, he can’t stop doing that while in the elevator and while other people were in it with us. It was so sweet. For a moment, I think I was conscious during this dream and I chose to just stay there for a little bit more. Then when we reached the docking area, I asked him if he wants to sit beside me. Surprisingly, he said no. He does not want to sit with me. Even more surprising was that I was not bothered by it. So we sat apart. I was holding something on my lap but I can’t remember what is it. It kept me busy and distracted during the boat ride to space needle. When we got to the Space Needle, we stood there looking at the city view but no lights were on. So for a while we were just looking at dark skyline. Then all of a sudden the buildings started to light up. It was so beautiful. Albert was sitting behind me and I was in front of him. He was hugging me and I enjoyed his warmth. I miss him. I woke up from that dream and I prayed right away for healing. I hope this is healing. I am slowly making peace with the past. I don’t cry as much and I am pouring all the love that I have to this idea of the love of my life. I know it will take more than this to completely heal but I am positive that God is paving the way for me.
Albert, whatever you are doing and wherever you are, I pray for your happiness. I mean it. You are my first love and it will never change. You taught me a valuable lesson about love. I may not have the chance to apply that same lesson to you, but I will do my best to keep the love I have for my future and hopefully last relationship. Albert, you were a blessing to me. I apologize for every pain I caused you but I am more thankful that you came into my life… you came at the perfect time. The memories we shared will always be with me.. I love you Albert and I sincerely pray for your happiness. Thank you.
My Love, I am still in the process of letting Albert go. Please be patient with me. I am rebuilding myself to be the right person for myself and for you. We both know nothing about each other right now but I promise you, you will amazed by how God created me, by how God shaped me to be the right person for you. My Love, salamat. You are giving me so much hope. You are giving me the strength to keep moving forward. I sometimes feel so down and I sometimes feel like giving up on life. Pero what good will it bring me if I give up? The idea of you is pushing me to thrive during this hard times. Kahit hindi pa kita nakikilala, I know na mamahalin kita ng sobra sobra. I have trust that you will do the same because we both prayed for each other. God knows everything that happened in our lives and that will be the very reason why he will give us to each other. My Love, I love you. I can’t wait to finally see you, talk to you and to know everything about you. Your past, present and future will all matter to me because I want to be part of everything that you are. I want you to know Love that it took us a while to be together but the wait is truly worth it. God is taking His time to writing down the best love story that we will both hear and witness. I love talking to you kahit ganito lang. Before Albert, I thought I was doing fine. I was happy on my own. I had a set plan for myself. After Albert, I felt really lonely and devastated. I thought hindi siya mawawala sa akin and I became selfish for thinking that the world should stop because I was hurting. Love, what I didn’t know was I needed Albert to learn to be a better partner and lover. We both owe him a lot Love. Kaya please don’t be mad at me if I sometimes will tell stories that includes him. God used him to change me. He used him to make the right person for you. Love, I promise to be open to you about every single thing. Maliit man yun or malaki I promise to tell you everything. I will know you better than anyone in your inner circle. I also can’t wait to meet your parents!!!! I can’t to bond with your siblings if you have them. Kinikilig ako just by thinking that one day, we will have our own family. Love, mahal na mahal kita kahit hindi pa tayo nagkakakilala. Once I meet you and I feel na ikaw na yung padala ni God… I will sing you “I Will” by the Beatles. I will dedicate that song for you kasi you are the love na pinakahihintay ko. I pray to God that everything that is happening right now is leading me straight to you. Slowly but surely, magkikita na rin tayo. I love you everyday Love… I love you very much. Be safe and I’ll see you very soon.